Ailments from Grief...

Whether  grief is for the passing away of a beloved friend, a spouse, a relative, a mentor, or a cherished pet, there are few of us who will not experience grief sometime in our life’s story.  Our grief is for the loss of a future with the beloved.  Our grief is a coming to terms with the death of the past.

But will there be ailments from grief? And what can be done for ailments from grief?

Most grief is not ‘psychologically pathological’ -  there is nothing abnormal about it.  It is natural and normal and vitally needed to reset the focus of living.  But when the news comes suddenly or shockingly, our coping mechanisms may freeze.  Or when we cannot sleep or eat or talk or smile again, our nervous system may have become stuck in an endlessly looping cascade of emotion. Or no emotion.  When the ebb and flow of healthy emotion has become mired in grief, that is when the homeopath considers treating for ailments from grief.

So there are two aspects that homeopathy deals with, first, the acute phase of ailments from grief and, second, the chronic phase of ailments from grief.  The chronic phase is best dealt with through constitutional homeopathic care, where the dynamic balance of all body/mind systems is taken into account.  If your grief lasts longer then 3 months with an intensity that affects your ability to function, your grief has become chronic.  This usually means that the acute phase of grief has locked into your general emotional operating mode.  Perhaps some earlier grief or loss or abandonment ‘primed’ your reaction.  Perhaps you were already poised on the precipice of depression or other mood challenges.  An acute grief can set off a constitutional landslide.  And for that, the homeopath must look at the big big picture of you, to help you.

The acute phase of grief can often benefit from some acute homeopathic care and support even though the grief may pass on it’s own, given enough time.   The rule of thumb that I use to determine whether treatment is needed, is whether the mind turns again and again to the same pattern of pain - be it physical or emotional.  Grieving is a process.  It is painful to let someone go.  It hurts even more when you cannot let go.

So these are the homeopathic remedies to consider for acute ailments from grief:

Aconitum:  the news is sudden and shocking,  bringing the person into an acute realization of the inevitability of death.  This state is characterized by agitation and anxiety and restless insomnia.  The person is gripped by the fear of death.
Ignatia: the news tears a hole in the heart.  There may be such a sense of loss that no tears are shed.  Silent grief.  A heavy weight may pervade the chest and only sighing will relieve it.  No desire to eat.
Staphysagria: the news brings conflicted feelings of grief along with anger and indignation that such events could unfold to cause a death.  The person may vent their frustration on innocent bystanders.
Aurum metallicum: the news brings with it a profound sense of survivor’s guilt with the grief.  There may even be a desire to die to end the pain.
Gelsemium: the news is just  such bad news.  The person reacts with exhaustion and anxiety and sleeplessness. It is as if the bottom dropped out of life.  Trembling with the news.
Phosphoric acidum:  the news just takes all the bubbly joy out of living, leaving a person pale, worn out,  a dull vacant look in the eyes.

Most of these homeopathic remedies are available at your health food store.  I suggest the 30c potency, 1 dose daily for 5 to 7 days.  If symptoms persist or worsen, get help.  If symptoms improve, lessen your use of the remedy.  If the indicated remedy helps, carry it with you for the ‘waves’ of sorrow.  That is a good time to use the remedy.  A good remedy will not remove the grief, but restore you to yourself, allowing you to move through your grief.  And, perhaps, remember how to smile.

Everyone grieves differently and for varying periods of time.   There is no one right way to grieve.  Poetry, music, ceremony, loud weeping and wailing, walking, dancing, cooking, cleaning, singing, praying....these are the steps back into living.  Live well.

2 February 2009